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Category Archives: Guys

Everything You Wanted, Everything You Don’t

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Hey, everyone, and happy new year. Yeah, yeah, I know, I hate new years too, but it’s considered rude not to mention it, and I’m a sucker for conformity. So, hope you’ve had a good 2011, and that your 2012 may be as wonderful as… blah blah blah. You catch my drift. Well, here we are again, back at square one, with a whole year ahead of us, to fill as we may with broken resolutions and the annually allotted five weeks of unpaid vacation we can’t afford to take. For me, the bright side is that I’ve now been a member of the work force for a whole year, so it’s only 39 more to go until I’m allowed to retire or drop dead from exhaustion. Yay!

Meanwhile, I have no choice but to begrudgingly find some means to pass the time, and as always, I choose to stand by the friend who’s always stood by me in return: the TV. January is that magical time of year when the TV execs in America deem us worthy of new episodes of our favourite shows, and thank heavens they let Vampire Diaries come back early this year!

For those of you who don’t give a crap about VD, the rest of this post is going to be less than exciting. Feel free to skip ahead to the music at the bottom. For anyone who’s still with me, and have yet to see the newest episode, go see it! Now! And then come back. For those who have already seen it, well, you know what I’m about to say, so I’m not even going to say it. Let’s just say, it’s disturbing how invested a somewhat grown-up human being can get in a fictional teenager’s love triangle with two 150-year old vampire brothers. I’m way more excited about this storyline than anyone with fully matured frontal lobes should be. I can’t even decide between Team Stefan and Team Damon, even though I’m usually very loyal to one side in these kinds of situations (I consider loyalty to one’s TV friends to be of utmost importance). This time, though, I can’t choose. So I say, slut it up, Elena! Go for them both. Katherine did, why shouldn’t you?

Oh, and that song that you’ve already googled, from that scene we’ve all replayed seventeen times, can be found below. It’s called “Holding On and Letting Go” by American singer-songwriter Ross Copperman, who I’ve actually heard of and listened to before, and who is now going back to his rightful spot on my playlist.

Follow up questions for you:
–    Team Stefan, Team Damon or Team Why-the-Hell-Choose?
–    What did you think of Meredith showing up as an adult, a doctor nonetheless, looking suspiciously like Crazy Nanny Carrie?
–    If you don’t give a crap about vampire drama, how was your new year’s celebration? Are you happy to be one year closer to the sweet relief of death retirement?

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The Great Vintage of -78

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So, you know how there are good and bad vintages of wine? A few days ago, I went with a friend of mine to the liquor store because she needed some wine for a date night and, well, I had nothing better to do. She kept talking about Spanish wine versus French versus South African and so on, all the while asking my opinion. Trying not to seem clueless, I gave her the best advice I could. “Hey, the label on this one is really pretty”. “France is way snootier than Spain”. “Buy the cheap one, you don’t have any money”. “Isn’t the guy supposed to bring the wine anyway?”

The perceptive reader may have already deduced that I do not know wine. At all. When it comes to wine, I can’t tell French from Spanish or one grape from another. I have no idea what vintages are good or bad. I do, however, know a different sort of vintage. Over the years, I’ve been developing a connaissance for boy vintages. Yeah, it’s a thing. So, let me tell you a little bit about the great vintage of 1978.

You see, this great year of Grease, Garfield and Computer Bulletin Boards, has also produced a rather marvelous stock of good-looking guys. I know it’s shallow and I know nothing about their personalities, but I can’t help the fact that I have eyes and a well-functioning visual cortex, right? So, anyway, I first started noticing this particular vintage back in 1998, when Pacey Witter showed up on my TV-screen and grazed my eyeballs with magnificence. The following year, Nicky Byrne and Westlife sang their way into my throbbing tween heart, while at the same time, I suffered through some dreadfully boring episodes of Once and Again just to get a view of Shane West. James Franco showed up as an adorable pot head on Freaks and Geeks. Josh Hartnett fought aliens and Devon Sawa fought Death, whereas I fought my hormones. Ashton Kutcher and Topher Grace were cutesy retro on That 70’s Show. Ian Somerhalder stole my heart (and Jake’s) on Young Americans, followed by Ben McKenzie on The O.C. and Bryan Greenberg on One Tree Hill. Shortly thereafter, Matthew Goode was Chasing Liberty and Jensen Ackles was chasing ghosts and ghouls, while Jesse Metcalfe was chased by a cougar. I could go on, but instead I’ll get to the point.

And here it is, the point, my great epiphany: just as there are good wine years, there are good guy years. I dare say 1978 is one of the best vintages there are. Of course, I have no empirical evidence supporting my claim, but as far I know, neither do wine connoisseurs. However, through my previously mentioned observations and informal data collection I’ve noticed that the birth year of 1978 holds a significantly larger number of genetically blessed males than do previous or following generations. I suppose we’ll never know why. Maybe there was something in the water that year. Though I’ll admit that the role this particular vintage played during my formative years, may have made me somewhat biased. Regardless, our visual cortices rejoice. Cheers!

P.S. Honorable mention goes to the vintage of -74, which has bred such prime specimens as Leonardo DiCaprio and Misha Collins. Not bad, not bad at all!