Two weeks ago I went to a job interview. I hate going to job interviews. It feels like I’m on Elimidate, being evaluated, measured up and inevitably dumped for a hotter chick. It’s terrible. I get all nervous and sweaty and start to ramble and forget ordinary words. It’s a disaster every time. For instance, when asked how I thought I would handle a high pressure job, I could have answered something like this: “Well, it will probably be challenging at first, but as I get settled in I’m sure I will be able to handle it nicely”. That answer popped into my head the minute I left. Instead, at the interview, I answered like this: “…Uhh…well… it will probably be a bit chaotic at first… uhm, I mean… not chaotic… but… scary?… ehm, my point is that… when I get a handle on things… it will be okay. Probably.”
Yeah, that’s what I said. Chaotic. Scary. What’s scary is how my IQ drops about 70 points when I’m being interviewed and I lose my ability to produce coherent sentences. I also pointed out about six or seven times how inexperienced and under-qualified I am. The union representative who was there to oversee the interview was giving me the side-eye. I remember making a crack about Desperate Housewives at some point, and mentioning the fact that I have a car as one of my strengths. It may not seem like it, but I did actually want this job! I left the interview a nervous wreck, but overall feeling good about my performance. After all, it went better than usual.