Bored out of my mind and sick of bugging my boyfriend about it, I decided to watch a movie today at one o’clock in the afternoon (ah, the beauty of the weekend). I carefully selected a comedy I hadn’t already seen, You Again, starring a lot of famous people, including Veronica Mars and that old lady from that show about old ladies in the ’80s. Anyway, the movie was about facing up to your high school traumas and putting all that shiz behind you. Marni (Mars) has to face off with her old high school nemesis when her brother is getting married to said nemesis. Only, her brother doesn’t know that his fiancée is the one who made life a living hell for Marni in high school, so of course, Marni has to stop the wedding and save her brother from the evil witch (duh!). A lot of hilarities ensue, I’m cheered up, and Boyfriend is relieved I’ve stopped whining about how bored I am. Everybody wins! If you want in on the winnings, I recommend watching this delightfully entertaining movie.
After the movie, or actually during, I started thinking about my own high school experience. I couldn’t help it, especially when the song ”Toxic” by Britney Spears was played. Hearing that song took me right back to high school along with the characters in the movie. I don’t have a huge dramatic story from high school, but I did have a guy who picked on me. This is the story of how we made up, and eventually came to be declared ”friends of the year”.
So this guy, let’s call him Guy, didn’t like me very much (can’t possibly imagine why, as I’m lovely and not conceited at all). All through 11th grade, whenever we had to make contact with each other, he would bug me or yell at me or hit me with a ruler. Presumably, this was because I was somewhat of a geek in middle school (I was closeted by the time I reached high school), and he just wouldn’t let me escape it. Luckily, even though we were in the same class, our paths didn’t cross too often. I avoided him most of the time.
Anyway, this was the year I met Boyfriend (yes, the same one that I’m still bugging today, he has a LOT of patience). He went to a different school than me and lived all the way across town, and thus didn’t know I was a closeted geek. How lucky! Well, after a while we got to the point where we started needing contraceptives, because, you know. So I went to the doctor and got my hands on some birth control pills. My doctor told me it was of utmost importance I take the pills at exactly the same time every day and never ever to forget it. So, I randomly decided to take them at night before bed, at ten thirty sharp. When Boyfriend spent the evening at my house, this was not a problem. However, when we were at his place, my strict ten thirty pill time combined with my eleven o’clock curfew, forced me to take the pill during the hour long bus ride home from his place. Obviously I had not thought this through, but by the time this inconvenience became apparent to me, it was already too late. I had to keep taking the pill at the same time every day. Even when my family went on a road trip vacation in America (I’m European), I made up for the time difference and took my pill at about one thirty in the afternoon, which was awkward because my parents weren’t supposed to know, and on vacation we were usually on outings, or in the car, or otherwise spending time together at this time of day. Anyway, I’m getting off track. The vacation went fine; my parents never knew or at least pretended not to. All was well.
What I was going to tell you was that my badly chosen pill time forced me to bring my pills to school on days that I was going to Boyfriend’s house in the afternoon. I kept them in my backpack, very cleverly hidden in the outer pocket along with my keys and wallet. And this is where I get to the point. One fateful day in the autumn of 12th grade, I was hanging out in the school cafeteria with a friend of mine, when Guy showed up and joined us. Friend and Guy were friends, so I suppose that’s why he could stand sitting with me. I, however, needed to get away for a little while and declared that I was going to the bathroom, leaving the two of them and my backpack behind. Yeah, I was that stupid. So when I came back I found the two of them laughing, Guy with my pills in his hand. I was mortified, but laughed good-naturedly along with them, ensuring I got my pills back. I spent the rest of the day wishing fire and sulphur would rain down on the both of them. It did not.
I quickly forgave Friend, because what else was she supposed to do when I was gone than ransack my backpack, right? However, I was worried that Guy was going to spread the news of his exciting finding around school, ’cause you know, I watched movies; I knew how these things went. I was very surprised when instead, Guy started acting friendly towards me and sitting next to me in class. I know what you’re thinking, but no, I knew he was not interested in me in that way, he had a slutty girlfriend of his own. I was mystified. What did he want with me? Why was he acting so friendly? I was wary, expecting a backlash or a ruler slap across the back of my head every time he was near. After a while, when nothing happened and no news about my newfound sluttiness spread across school, I started to relax around him.
One day, as we were walking to the bus stop together after school, the mystery unravelled. Turns out, Guy needed someone to talk to about his troublesome love life with Slutty Girl, and now that he knew I was active, apparently he figured I was the best person for the job. So he told me all about how his girlfriend got her period at irregular times, and how this affected their love life. He poured his poor little heart out to me, and I listened carefully and tried to sympathise. Apparently, I was no longer geeky girl to him. Instead, through the rest of the year, I was his friend and confidante and sometimes masseuse when his neck was aching (don’t know how he tricked me into that one). Our issues were resolved, our classmates mystified (I like to think they cared), and Friend declared us friends of the year. After high school, we went our separate ways and I don’t know how he’s doing now, except every once in a while I receive a poker invite from him on facebook.
The message? I don’t really have one. Except, given the choice, take your pill in the morning.